


To Gain You Must First Learn To Let Go

by thefullmetaledwardelric



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Adult Themes, Alternate Universe, Bondage, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-08 23:03:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1959462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefullmetaledwardelric/pseuds/thefullmetaledwardelric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are just some lessons that Lt. Colonel Edward Elric has to learn the 'hard' way...</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Gain You Must First Learn To Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> A quick bit of BG on this. It's based in an AU version of Post BroHood where Al doesn't make it and Ed ends up back in the military. He's pretty broken and he'd gotten to the point where he didn't really give a shit about anything really, save upholding the few things he knew Al would never forgive him for if he didn't. This kind of leaves Ed an even more live wire since he really doesn't believe he has anything left to live for...

From behind came the feel of a soft piece of cloth, it pulled tight over his eyes blocking out any ability for the blond to see what was going on. His heart rate picked up but there was no panic, it was as if he already knew the person responsible for the blindfold. With the covering in place, next came the press of a body against his own from behind, arms slipping around him. Nimble fingers undoing the buttons of his black shirt, slipping it back and down his shoulders. The press of warm lips met the nape of his neck, a shiver running the entire length of his spine and stoking quiet embers in his core. Something so slight had lit a fire in him, a fire of want and desire.

The kisses spread over his shoulders, the hands working the shirt until it fell to the floor. The blond made no effort to stop it, he wanted it. It was more than clear that the one lavishing this attention wanted him badly and he wasn’t going to deny he yearned for that need, loved it more than anything when someone wanted him this badly. He found his own hands going back and meeting with strong, taut muscle, bare skin. It was a realization that his partner was waiting and eager for him and he himself was far behind in this game. His partner seemed more than willing to catch him up though.

Powerful yet gentle hands slid over his torso as the lips that pressed to his neck and shoulders now seemed hungrier. Lips and kissing turned to lips and teeth suckling and biting at skin. With each one, quick, whimpering groans slipped from the blond’s lips, the fire of need burning brighter and hotter by the moment. Every bit felt amazing and he couldn’t seem to get enough.

The feeling of his belt being released met his senses next, the leather being tugged free by those hands that had moments before been pressed against his skin. His partner had also turned to letting his tongue lightly play over tough, sensitive scarred skin that rounded over his right shoulder. This person knew just where to play to make him react and react he would, a powerful gasp of air pulling its way into his lungs, his body straightening against his partner’s. This would be the first time that he would really get the feeling of a waiting stiffness against him and his impatience grew. Moving his hands back, he thought to try and return at least a little of the favor being done upon him. The blond searched until his hands found their way to that stiffness, one palming over it, the other working at the smooth thigh beside it. This drew the first real noise from his partner as well, a low, rolling hum from somewhere deep in his partner’s chest.

It seemed he liked the blond’s response, stepping up his own efforts to bring the game even. Quick working fingers opened the closure of his dark trousers then moved to his sides easily sliding not just the pants from him, but his shorts beneath down as well. With a flutter of air, the fabric fell to the blond’s ankles. The blond was actually surprised when he felt those hands return to his chest, the pull of them drawing him back. He was being coaxed backwards and all he could do was shuffle carefully to keep himself from tripping in his attempt to keep up with the desire.

Then the feeling of the person behind him was gone but it was followed quickly with the sound of springs depressing as his partner sat on the bed. Hands were soon back upon him, at his waist, pulling him down to sit on the lap of his partner. As he did, stiffness was met with his back and the top of his rear’s divide. It drew a gasp of anticipation from the blond. His own hands went to the bed beneath him to steady himself as the hands that had pulled him down slid to his stiffness, one taking the length and starting to stroke it, the other cradling his testicles gently massaging them. Leaning back into his partner, the blond rest his head against what he assumed was the man’s shoulder, his hands digging more into the bed.

At first the blond hummed his pleasure but as the pace increased, the hums became light moans. It was very clear that his partner knew exactly what they were doing and he was enjoying every bit of that knowledge. The longer it went on, the blond found himself moving his hips against the lap of his lover, moving to pull more pleasure from the stroking that seemed so intent to pull him to release. As he moved though, he could hear more low groans coming from the man beneath him, deep, welcoming noises that said he didn’t mind one bit that the blond was teasing him as a response to the stroking. Lips and teeth found their way to the blond’s back again, intent and hungry one again. The blond could tell that his lover was pulling marks from the superficial depths of his skin but he didn’t care, he welcomed it. Anyone who wanted him, that could bring out this much life in him like this was welcome to mark him all they wished. He had clearly surrendered himself to it anyway.

The ache was building more in the blond’s groin, the heat of pleasure craved to be released. How long had this been going on? He didn’t know and really didn’t need to, especially when his mind became so filled with the white noise of want as he felt a thumb start to stroke over his head. He could feel the warm, tacky sensation of pre-cum as that digit moved over him. He was so close he could feel his mouth watering and the muscles in his lower regions tightening, preparing. His partner was close to obtaining the reward for his work and before he could think otherwise, it felt as if a damn had broken. With a loud groan, the blond’s hips bucked atop his partner, the hot, opaque fluid freely releasing from his head, spilling over himself and his partner’s still stroking hand. Repeatedly he would spasm in orgasm, each buck of his hips drawing moans of deep pleasure from the blond’s lips until he was clearly spent and falling limp and shaking completely back against his partner.

But his partner wasn’t done yet…

The hands that had been on him now slipped away, coming to the back and slipping between him and his lover. “My turn,” was hummed lightly into his ear, the voice smooth, husky… seductive. The blond could feel the hand that had been stroking him only moments before start to stroke over the erection that pressed against his back. Was his lover using his own cum to prepare himself? Why did the thought of that spark him to life again?

Moments later, he felt lips near his ear once more. “If I’m going to be able to do this I need you to move a bit,” was whispered there, the voice still seductive and low, his breath hot against the blond’s ear. On still slightly shaky legs, the blond complied though, standing enough to feel the head pressed against his entrance. Hands were now at his sides, slowly drawing him down but not forcing it. It would be a few times of the blond bobbing over the stiffness, prepping himself and lubricating himself with the head that was about to enter him before he was able to resume his spot though.

Once he did take in that eager length though, the moan that came from the blond’s lips was long and loud and eyes behind the covering pressed closed. At first it stung so badly that the blond could feel the electric shocks of pain go through him but he welcomed it, pain being yet another reminder that he was indeed alive. Passion, pain… yes, this was what the blond wanted, what he needed and craved.

At first his partner remained there, not moving, just staying buried deep within the blond, as if enjoying the feeling of being completely enveloped by him. The length and girth seemed to fill him perfectly and he could feel the tightness of it. He could swear he felt his lover’s pulse in the member that was buried in him or maybe that was the feeling of his own racing heart, it was difficult to be sure. Either way, the feeling had the blond whimpering in want all the more.

The hands at his sides started to move up to rest on the heaving chest of the blond, drawing him back, pulling him to lay down as his lover behind him did. Tentatively, the blond allowed himself to be drawn, his hands sliding back over the surface of the bed beside them, his legs coming up; he finally kicked off his unlaced boots allowing them to fall to the floor and for his shorts and trousers to fall completely to the floor. He was fully exposed now and able to get his feet to the edge of the bed, his toes curling around its edge.  He could also feel his lover’s legs coming up now between his own. Ever so slowly, as he was held close, he felt his lover begin to move his hips up and down beneath him, the length within slipping and teasing at his inner walls. The hands on the bed grasped for the sheets, more loud moans of ecstasy pouring from the blond’s lips.

He struggled to keep himself from falling; he didn’t want anything to get in the way of this. The struggle seemed to intensify when the feeling of his lover’s hands left his chest, coming moments later to the blindfold that was tied around his eyes. The blond could feel the knot holding the cloth in place being released. What was his partner doing? Moments later he would find out when the low light of the room was revealed to him and that cloth slipped over his mouth, held firm but not too tightly there to gag him without choking. The action didn’t stop the groans of passion from coming from him though, only muffled them, but something about it, about being held this way, excited the blond more. This also seemed to spur his partner more as well, his pace increasing.

In and out, teasing ever so much at the spot buried in him, his partner continued to take the blond. The burn of carnal pleasure flamed renewed in the blond with each movement. Muffled behind the cloth, the blond swore, his revealed eyes remaining closed from the euphoric pain of the passion. Everything about this felt so perfectly wrong and all he could think of was how much he wanted more of it. Harder, quicker the feeling of his lover within him became and louder the muffled cries became behind the gag. The blond knew he could hold longer now even with the head within him teasing ever so perfectly against the powerful erogenous zone buried inside of him. Why did his lover have to fit him so damn perfectly?

“I’m not going to stop until you let go for me again,” whispered that voice in his ear. His lover had far more control than he did if that was going to be the case but the blond didn’t protest. He knew he was at his partner’s mercy this way, giving himself willing over to the desire of the other but then trusting someone that much, letting someone in like this, well it was something that had been trouble for the blond. But that was slowly starting to end.

The stamina of his partner was impressive, his pace quick but balanced and steady. It was almost as if he were trying to draw out the pleasure the blond felt, keep him in docile surrender as long as possible. The blond supposed that was the case though, he had purposely challenged this man, asked for him to show him how to let go of the stubborn things that held him back. This was just another lesson wasn’t it? It was a perfect lesson in letting go of one’s stubborn pride, letting himself admit that there were just some things he didn’t have complete control over. This was a first step. Or maybe this wasn’t a lesson at all, only a spiral into further darkness for the blond, the throws of passion clouding his mind into forgetting that which haunted him, temporarily at best.

Whatever it was, it was too late to turn back from it now.

The hands that held his gag clenched, pulling the cloth a bit more, in turn pulling the blond’s head back with it. Lips met the skin of his neck, teeth pulling at the skin. The shutters went through the blond, his muscles tensing around the erection thrusting inside of him. His mind was shut down by the white noise of oblivion was again.

“Let go,” whispered the voice, sultry but surprisingly tender. “Let go Edward…”

Almost as if the words were some sort of spell on the blond, he felt that pressure build in his groin once again. A single one of his hands pulled from the sheets and started to stroke over the throbbing length that felt about to burst. The touch was enough to bring him over the edge one more time, his cum spilling out of his head to the bare skin of his lower torso below, his hips bucking with the rhythm of the thrusting inside of him.

As he let out his passionate groans, the hold on the gag released, the full sound being allowed to bellow up from his lungs. The hands that had been holding the gag now wrapped around his chest, holding him close as his body trembled still being pulled through the cavern of bliss and orgasm. His partner was still in need and the blond knew it but the whimpers now came without thinking. He was spent completely but he had to find just a little more, hold on just a little longer.

The arms that wrapped him up, that held him close tightened; the hips that moved beneath him became more erratic. He could hear the labored breathes of his partner beneath him, just another moment and then the blond felt the hard press of his lover within him, the grunts of release coming from behind clenched teeth. One after another the spasms filled him until his lover’s body relaxed beneath him.

Both the blond and his lover both lay silent and still save for the labored pulls of breath that moved their chests. The arms around the blond didn’t let him go though he was sure that he had to be a burden to his partner, his full weight still pressing on him. He didn’t want to make him release him though, didn’t want to be let go of. He could feel his partner softening within him, the tension finally subsiding and allowing him to slip from the blond. The loss of the connection left the blond with a light hint of disappointment but the arms around him more than made up for it.

It would be only another moment before he felt the body beneath him stir, carefully rolling so that he and the blond both now lay on their sides. Not once did his partner let him go though. Lightly, kisses began to be pressed to the blond’s skin and a smile actually found its way to the blond’s lips from the light warmth of them.

“This isn’t what I had in mind when I asked you to teach me not to care Roy,” the blond’s voice came with a slight laugh.

“Maybe, but you have to remember what it is to really feel anything at all first Edward,” he answered. “There’s a very big difference between complete apathy, which you seemed to have let yourself fall victim to, and simply detaching oneself in a case where tough choices must be made. If you can’t let someone in, you won’t remember what’s truly important when the time comes to make the choice to take a life or not. Things aren’t as black and white as you’d like them to be. You have to understand and accept letting go, something I know you’ve forgotten. It’s impossible to spare everyone all the time and you’ll only end up dead yourself for trying. You can’t live like your own life doesn’t matter just because what you knew isn’t what is anymore. Your beliefs are only as strong as the things you have to lose if you don’t follow through with them. Once your brother died, you even said it yourself; you had nothing to lose anymore. Men like that are dangerous Edward, very dangerous. They have no regard for anything or anyone and that’s really when people end up dying.”

“And these, these escapades of yours, are supposed to teach me that? Supposed to teach me that I do have something to lose if I make the wrong choice? But what DO I have to lose Roy, what about this gives me that?”

“I got you to actually open up to me, to trust me again, didn’t I?”

“Maybe,” Ed grumbled lightly.

“Don’t grumble at me Fullmetal,” Roy laughed as he kissed at the blond’s cheek. “Remember, you asked me for these lessons and you agreed to any means necessary.”

“I didn’t agree to you making me want this or to making me want you…”

“I didn’t make you do anything of that kind Edward; you did that on your own. I just needed you to feel something, anything really, to remind you that there’s more to living than just existing. It honestly didn’t matter if you felt passion or resentment for me, I just needed more than that angry, lost, shell of a man you’d let yourself become. I do have to admit though, I’m glad you do want me though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Frankly, it made me want you just as much. Who would have thought when I decided I wanted you to take over my team that I’d end up with you by my side as well?”

“Don’t push it arrogant bastard… THAT is something I DEFINITELY haven’t agreed to…”

All Roy could do was hum his amusement as he pulled Edward closer, his face burying itself in the long, blond strands at the base of his lover’s neck. Ed simply sighed and closed his eyes, he was exhausted and only wanted to fall asleep. But his thoughts wandered for a moment before he let his eyes slip closed. Even if he hadn’t verbally agreed to it, Roy was right; he did have him by his side and would. Even more, Roy really had made him feel again, feel needed, desired, and dare he even think it, loved. HE knew he still had a long way to go, still had a lot to get past and mature out of if he had any prayer of being the soldier and man he needed to be, but somehow, knowing Roy was willing to help him made it seem a little better somehow.

As his eyes finally closed, the blond sighed contently thinking that maybe, wherever Alphonse was now, he’d be proud of him or, at the very least, happy that his brother was moving on with his life. And maybe he’d also be happy that Ed had finally found someone that would take care of him and love him and someone he could do that for in return.


End file.
